oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
