Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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