You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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