Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
