since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
