the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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