So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
