She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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