Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
