Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
