Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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