Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
