she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
