I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
