So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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