I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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