she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
