Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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