My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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