Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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