I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
