Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
