You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
