I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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