Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
