So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
