In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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