Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
