There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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