Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The uberlube is also flammable
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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