are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
