I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
try to milk me bitch
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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