So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize