Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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