He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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