I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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