fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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