Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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