He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize