her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
