We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
