why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
