is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it's like iHOP with fire
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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