We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
