So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
