i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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