She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
