1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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