I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
