everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
