ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
