at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
