Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize