We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hippo gnu deer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
