the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
