Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
