Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
