im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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