Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
dude. I can hear the air.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
