a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
