he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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