What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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