but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
