So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
