upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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