the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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