We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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