idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
