I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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