Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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