dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
