I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
