I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
